Hi, everyone. Here’s a doodle that’s a little softer than what I’ve written below. Just givin’ you fair warning that I spit some real talk here.
I have been dealing with SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT as of late, so here’s a song that’s been on repeat to help me through it.
While I’m here, I will take the time to say this: If there is someone in your life who is a huge burden on your mental health, so much so that the mere thought of them takes an emotional toll on you, listen carefully.
Cut that person out of your life.
You do not need this person and their bullshit.
People will come and go in your life, some of whom will have a great impact on you and how you see the world. In some cases, these significant people will hurt you in ways you and they could not imagine. And when that happens, because shit happens, let’s be real, you will need to make a choice of whether to:
1. Hold on and suffer through an unending cycle of depression, resentment, defeat, frustration, anger, desperation and hopelessness
2. Decide, point blank, to move the fuck on with your life.
I have done the former instead of the latter for close to a year and regretted it immensely, as nothing comes of holding on to a lost cause. A lost cause who makes the same mistake over and over again, despite advice to correct thoughtless behavior. A lost cause who was emotionally-manipulative and unaware, selfish, obtuse, and wanted to have the cake and eat it, too.
Don’t waste your fucking precious time on fools+tools like this.
I have had fucking enough. I am not asking, I am taking that fucking cake away to eat it all myself.
Let’s wipe our hands clean of all of this rubbish and be better for it. Focus on what’s good, trust that there are people who care for you and will support you when you need it most (shout out to my ladies Cynthia+Dalhe who’ve got my back, xoxo), and be good to yourself. You’ll find that doing this will empower you.
One day, only after you have moved on indefinitely, you will find peace with this person, despite everything. But, it takes time to get there, so forget about them for now.
"I Used to Love Him," by Lauryn Hill (my song of the week) is helping me do just that– maybe she can help you, too.
Obligatory Side Note: You will never find a replacement for this person, but that is a good thing. People aren’t like a paper chain. You will find someone better, someone more deserving, someone who knows when they’ve got something good. Someone who will be worth the fight.